How's THIS for Positive

It's no secret that I have had a pretty shitty year (well, 2 actually). I am typically one that likes (?) to dwell on stuff so I thought I would do the opposite for a change. Kinda like how George Costanza went against every natural instinct on Seinfeld in one memorable episode. So, with that being said, I am going to list 5 GOOD things that happened in 2011...if I can think of 5, that is (insert Debbie Downer comments here).

"Every decision I have ever made in my entire life, has been wrong. 

My life is the complete opposite of everything I wanted to be. 

Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, is it something to wear,

 something to eat, it’s all been wrong" - George Costanza

1. I successfully won my battle against depression. That is not to say that my demons don't occasionally latch onto my legs in an attempt to pull me down. But, I am now strong enough to let them briefly think they are winning and then kick the shit out of them. I am now able to put things into perspective and move on. I am no longer crazy irrational and I can now deal with things head-on. These may seem like “normal” every day things for everyone else but for me, it is huge.

2.  This may sound like an odd one for someone who is pushing 41 but I renewed my mortgage all by myself, without my parents input. I've led a somewhat sheltered/protected life and most major decisions are made with the help of my Mom and Dad. This was a big step for me and made me feel like a real, actual, grown-up for the first time in my life. 

3.  I adopted my first child. I've had cats since birth and they have played different roles in my life. Our first family cat,Taffy, was my protector, my little Mama, guarding my crib and always making sure I was okay. When Taffy passed we got Frankie. Frankie was my sibling. We had a love/hate relationship like most sibs do. When Frankie died in 2008, my folks didn't get another cat. This past May, after a 9 month search, I adopted Roo. Roo is my daughter. She is what I have needed for a very long time. She is the light of my life. As crazy as it sounds, she gives me purpose. Which I desperately needed.

My little Roo.

4. This is a pretty big one. One that I have regretted at times but deep down know was the right decision. I resigned from my job of almost 9 years. I am thankful that I had this job as it changed my life in many ways from being able to buy my condo to making some pretty amazing friends that I can't imagine my life without. But, this job also caused me to spiral into a year long depression that turned my whole world upside down. Seeing how I am supposed to be “positive” in this post, that had a silver lining too. It made me face some longstanding issues and get healthy...really healthy, for the first time in my life. As traumatic as the end of my time at this job was, it did change my life for the better and for that I have to be thankful.  

5. And finally, what may be the most important one of all...I now know I am never alone. I mean, I never really was alone but a lot of the time I twisted my reality to make myself feel alone. I have the most supportive family in the world who accept me AND all my faults. I also now have a stable group of friends who do the same. Friends who have never once abandoned me (like a few others did) during this stressful time. I can honestly say I have put a lot of people close to me through hell the last year or so. I can also say that they have all stuck by me, been honest with me and supported me when I needed it the most. I will never, ever forget what these people did for me. They saved me from myself.

I'm not going to lie...going into the New Year scares the hell out of me. I'm terrified of what it holds or, does not hold. But I also know that the five things I have listed here have changed my life for the better and have armed me to go forward into 2012 with the most positive attitude I have ever had. And that, my friends, is huge.

I hope your 2012 is filled with health, happiness, friends, family and wine.

You know you love me,

Stacey-Version 2.0 xo

A Brand New Greeting For ALL!

I received mixed responses regarding my last post on the controversy of saying "Merry Christmas". Some people agreed with me, some definitely did not. 


I've been thinking about what everyone had to say, trying to figure out a solution to make everyone happy. Well, I think I've found it. Ironically, it was hanging on my "Christmas" tree. From now on, let's use a brand new greeting. One that sums up the holidays in 2 little words...."Merry Excess". 

May you spend your Excess Season eating too much, drinking too much, shopping too much,  and above all, visiting with your loved ones too much. Because let's face it, too much is often not enough.


Merry Excess!


You know you love me,


Stacey xo

Merry CHR***MAS!

I recently posted this cartoon on my Facebook page mocking the fact that “Christmas” has essentially become a expletive. Someone on my Facebook friend list reported me for posting it and it was removed from my profile. Yes, you read that correctly. I was reported for posting a CARTOON.

We are living in a time where we have to watch absolutely everything we say for fear of offending someone. It is ridiculous. People have become so “god” damned sensitive that I swear, it is making me even MORE offensive in my opinions and the things I say or post on my Facebook page. It has become a form of rebellion for me.

I find the fact that saying MERRY CHRISTMAS has become politically incorrect appalling. We live in Canada, a free country. That we are having to change our traditions to appease other people/cultures is a joke. Now don't go labelling me a racist or say that I am culturally “insensitive”. I'm not. At all. I welcome other cultures. I believe we can learn a lot from each other. After all, Canada is and has always been, a mosaic of people and cultures. But just as we have to adapt to the customs of other countries when relocating or simply visiting, I feel that others should have to do the same. I'm not saying that I expect folks of different cultures to embrace our traditions, I'm saying that they should respect them.

I am aware that Christmas is based on Christianity and I can tell you that I am 100% NOT a Christian. I have absolutely no use for “god” or “christ” (I have extremely strong opinions on this). I, however, am not the least bit offended by someone saying “Merry Christmas” to me. I think of it as a pleasant greeting like “Happy Holidays” or “Season's Greetings”. I mean come on, for a lot of people the religious aspect of Christmas is somewhat of an antiquated notion at this point. What does shopping 'til we drop, maxing our credit cards and eating and drinking like pigs have to do with the baby jesus? Absolutely nothing. Christmas now has multiple meanings and everyone has their own personal definition. For some it is celebrating the “birth of Christ”. For me, it is spending time with loved ones and showing my appreciation for them (with a whole lotta food and wine).

I guess what I am saying is, we can't please all of the people all of the time. It is impossible. So, let's just practice respect and acceptance of all. All people. All customs. All traditions. There really is room enough for all of us.

Happy Holidays, Season's Greetings and, you guessed it, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

You know you love me,

Stacey xo

Look the F**K Out

I am in  bit of a foul mood the last couple of days. I took some allergy medicine and it affected me in a very negative way. Not sure if it was a drug interaction or I just can't handle the medicine. Regardless, I am feeling very pissy and I am going to rant my ass off because of it. Good ol' purge therapy. Here goes:


1. I am SICK of people judging others on how they look. If you look so god damned perfect, why aren't you making millions as a supermodel? Get over yourselves. Seriously.


2. I am SICK of people judging ME because I have an armband tattoo. Listen assholes, I got it when most of you were still in diapers. You think your "sleeves" aren't going to be dated one day soon? At least I can remove mine in 4 easy appointments. How many will it take remove your full body tattoos? I'll have the last laugh.


3. I am SICK of former "friends" coming out of the woodwork and accusing me of various shit. Guess what? You mean NOTHING to me. You don't even cross my mind at this point. F**k off and die. Yup, I said it.


4. I am SICK of paying an arm and a leg to eat healthy. What is wrong with society when fast food is cheaper than fresh? No wonder obesity and diabetes have reached epidemic levels. 

5. I am SICK of criminals getting a slap on the wrist regardless of the severity of their crime. Whatever happened to an eye for an eye? Why are these people coddled? Why is it the victims who have to fight for THEIR RIGHTS? Total bull shit.


6. I am SICK of taking the time to write someone a message or an email only to get NOTHING back. I am so DONE with lopsided friendships. And the "I'm so busy" excuse doesn't fly with me. It takes less than 5 minutes to fire off a quick email. MAKE the time.


7. I am SICK of being given the "silent treatment" or being "punished" because I couldn't attend an event. Sometimes life gets in the way and it's just not possible. It doesn't mean I don't CARE. It means my current circumstances prevented me from attending. Life does NOT revolve around YOU.


8. I am SICK of living in a society where forgiveness is non-existent. Everyone makes mistakes. EVERYONE. 


9. I am SICK of how people on Facebook try and pretend their lives are fairytale perfect. Get real and be HONEST. You aren't fooling anyone.  "The lady doth protest too much, methinks". 


10. I am SICK of being crucified for my opinions. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS. If you don't like them...too f**king bad. 

I'm sure there will be those out there saying, "Stacey is so negative". Yes, my personality does tend toward the negative but I've worked very hard this year to become a more positive person. With that being said, there is still A LOT of shit that pisses me off....and I'm not afraid to say it.


You know you love me...and if you don't, I really don't care,


Stacey xo

I Just Don't Understand

My brain is typically always in high-gear. I'm one of those people who has a hard time shutting it off. I swear this could possibly be the number one cause of insanity. Anyway, I've been thinking about a few things that I don't quite understand. I don't mean things like war, poverty, etc. I mean little things that vex the shit out of me. Why don't I just dive right in?

1. I don't understand why so many YOUNG families have house cleaners? What is it exactly that kids do to contribute to the household these days? My siblings and I each had our chores that we had to do on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis. How are kids of this generation going to know how to keep a house? Or better yet, learn responsibility? I weep for the future.
   
   

   

   Oh, honey...no, no, no! Don't do THAT! The house cleaner will do it for you.
2. I don't understand why some empty-nesters live in giant houses? Isn't this when you would want to move into something smaller? A great condo perhaps? Why the hell do you need a house with 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms and a yard the size of a park when it is just two of you? I don't get it.
   
   
3. I don't understand how some girls move from boyfriend to boyfriend and into serious relationships (or marriage) so quickly? Wouldn't you want some time to yourself to regroup? I don't see how this is healthy. You know, it IS okay to be single, if even for a little while. You won't be shunned by society (even though it feels like it sometimes *rolling eyes*).
   
   

   

   NEXT!
4. I don't understand why people refuse to signal when turning? Did this become optional and I missed the memo? I mean, if it is physically too hard for you to FLICK the signal lever up or down, maybe you shouldn't be driving. If you see this is a form of rebellion or being “cool”, you are a loser. Plain and simple.
   
   
5. I don't understand when it became so easy to just write someone off? In the age of email and Facebook, it seems people have become “disposable” just like electronic equipment and furniture. Why are people so quick to just DELETE someone from their lives instead of talking (I know, it's an antiquated notion) and working through things? This makes me sad.

I dunno, maybe I am over-thinking things. I am famous for that. But honestly, life in 2011 is bloody complicated. I've said it before and I'll say it again...I long for the UNcomplicated, innocent, technology-free 80's.

You know you love me,

Stacey xo

'Friends' Lied To Me

I recently stumbled upon my copy of 'Reason, Season, Lifetime'. This is such an important poem. It really helps me deal with the fact that some of my friendships have not lasted or have ended abruptly. It came at a perfect time too, as I am trying to put the past behind me...once and for all.

I often struggle with the feeling that I don't fit in anywhere...don't have a solid group of pals who are together all the time, like on 'Friends'. As long as I can remember, I have wanted lifelong, joined at the hip, for better/for worse "best friends". You know, like Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe and Joey. Well, at the age of 40 I have finally realized they don't exist in real life...at least not for me. 

Anyway, if you ever feel this way, give this poem a read. It really does help make sense of things.

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

 When you figure out which one it is,

you will know what to do for each person.  

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

You know you love me,

Stacey xo

Stigma Be Damned

I recently finished reading my favourite book for the 3^rd time. It is the autobiography of Seattle actress Frances Farmer entitled, 'Will There Really Be a Morning”. The book was given to me by my Grandma Sook and is one of my most cherished possessions. The book focuses on Farmer's struggles with mental illness and living a life with almost no love and support. Due to my struggles with depression, I read it this last time with a different set of eyes.

Frances Farmer (1913-1970) was a free-thinking, independent screen actress during the Golden Age of Hollywood. She made several pictures and worked with the likes of Bing Crosby and John Barrymore. She did not set her sights on the bright lights of Hollywood but through a series of events, ended up there. Her real passion was for the stage. Frances' mother, Lillian Farmer, was perhaps one of the first stage mothers from Hell. The relationship between mother and daughter was strained at best. Lillian's endless quest for the spotlight by association lead her to exploit her daughter repeatedly. Due to Frances' sometimes erratic behaviour and rebellion, her mother told flagrant lies in order to have her committed to an insane asylum where her life was forever changed.

Frances Farmer 

Farmer's account of her (and others) treatment in the asylum reads like the script for one of the torture movies that are so popular now (Saw, etc). Daily rapes, beatings and starvation were the norm. These heinous acts were often committed by the medical “professionals” and staff who were supposed to be caring for these women. Their most basic human rights were violated on a daily basis. The women were often left naked and shackled. There were no proper bathroom facilities and using the toilet often meant having to go in a pail or on the floor in the corner of their “cells”. Bathing was permitted once a month and no toiletries (or undergarments) were available when the women were menstruating. This, shockingly, was the norm in 1930's and 40's sanitariums. Abuse of the mentally ill was rampant, physically and psychologically. Even the “medical” treatments so many people (including Frances) endured were torture. So-called cures such as Insulin shock therapy, hydrotherapy and lobotomy were nothing short of barbaric.

The reason I am writing this is because some 80 years later, abuse of the mentally ill is still far too common. From emotional and physical abuse to the stigma attached to those who suffer. No-one chooses to suffer from anxiety disorders, depression or schizophrenia (Ms. Farmer was diagnosed with everything from manic depressive psychosis to paranoid schizophrenia). It is the hand that some people are dealt. Until society realizes that mental disorders are an illness just like high blood pressure or diabetes, nothing is ever going to 

change.

If you know someone who suffers, be patient, be compassionate. And most importantly, don't abandon them. Far too many people suffer in silence. Remember, it often takes months, sometimes years to find a treatment that works. Mental disorders don't have a standard one size fits all treatment. If you think “dealing” with someone who is sick is “exhausting”, try walking a mile in their shoes. Imagine how frustrating and at times seemingly endless the search is for a treatment that fits.

Despite the absolute horror Frances Farmer was forced to endure for many years, she remained remarkably resilient. She was a survivor. I too, am a survivor. I dedicate this post to all of the lost souls, past and present, who were/are forced to navigate this journey alone.

“She'll come back as fire. To burn all the liars. Leave a blanket of ash on ground.”--from the Nirvana song, 'Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle'.

You know you love me,

Stacey xo

I LOVE Not Camping

Now that summer is upon us, there is endless talk about the lake. It drives me nuts. I am not a lake girl. Never have been. Never will be. The thought of going to the lake makes sick. I don't understand the fascination with “roughing it” or “being at one with nature”. If I feel the need to be at one with nature I will watch the Discovery Channel.

I went to the lake once during high school. It was my first trip with friends. It sounded like a great idea at the time. We loaded up the cars with beer and snacks. Packed the ghetto blaster and our favourite tapes. How could it be bad? We got to the lake (which one escapes me) at about 8:00 Friday night. We set up (read: they set up), drank some beer, listened to tunes and hung out with the boys staying at the campsite next to us. So far, so good! And then morning came. I woke up at the crack of dawn sweating half to death. It was hot and stuffy. I couldn't STAND IT. Along with the rising sun came a harsh reality...I was hours from home and absolutely despised camping. There was no way in HELL I could spend 3 days living like this. Luckily I was able to convince (perhaps it was beg) a friend to drive me home. My camping experience lasted approximately 12 hours. Twelve hours I will never get back.

This hangs from my rear-view mirror. Says it all!

I can't for the life of me figure out what is “fun” about sleeping outside in a tent? It's like a suffocation chamber (though it may be good for weight loss with all the sauna-like sweating one does). And does no-one realize what the actual lake really is? It's a giant toilet for animals (and some people). Last time I checked lakes were not chlorinated so y'all are swimming in urine. Many, many kinds of urine. Oh and how about the communal bathrooms? Not only are they filthy, but they smell like an outhouse. Or is that part of the “charm”? And do I even need to mention it is nearly impossible to put make-up on in the dirty, cracked bathroom mirrors. Where the hell is one supposed to get ready? In the TENT? Not bloody likely.

I don't give a shit who goes to the lake but please, don't tell me about it or try convince me how relaxing it is. I don't care and I don't believe you. If I have to spend my summers alone because everyone I know is gone to the lake, so be it. I'll take my air-conditioned condo over a sweltering, bug infested tent any day. And PS: A cabin with all of the comforts of home does not make it more inviting. At the end of the day, you are still swimming in piss.

You know you love me,

Stacey xo

It's MY Turn, Bitches

I've mentioned before that I have been terribly hurt by several people over the years who claimed to be my “friends”. I took what they dished out and constantly made excuses for them. As I got older I realized that being treated this way was not okay and started looking out for number one. I'm not sure if I was meant to learn life lessons from these people or if I just have remarkably poor judgement. Regardless, no-one should have to go through what I have. It shatters ones ability to trust and has a profound effect on interpersonal relationships.

When a friendship ends, I am not one to trash the other person to anyone and everyone within earshot. I prefer to take the high road and be the bigger person, even though I am getting slammed and slandered at every turn. Well, now it's MY turn. Time for ME to do some (anonymous) trashing. 

Some of you may think I am dwelling on things (I'm not). Some may think I still care (in most cases I don't) and this may seem downright catty to some of you. But, in my eyes, I simply deserve to finally say (albeit in a very abbreviated manner) what I have been holding inside for what seems like forever. I shall call this, "purge therapy". 

Dear # 1: You look like a Rainbow Brite hooker. I have never met a person as unforgiving as you. Your lack of compassion is astonishing. I can't wait until you learn your lessons the hard way. And, my dear, you will. 

Dear #2: You are a backstabber and a compulsive liar. Oh and seeing as I have no reason or desire to defend you anymore...you are a “bug-eyed bitch” (thanks for the quote TG).

Dear #3: You are mean, untrustworthy and bossy. You have been from day ONE. And you know what? You could suck wieners through the giant spaces in your teeth. Call a fucking dentist.

Dear #4: You are the most jealous, ungrateful and cheap person I have ever known. I'm sure you still have it written down that I borrowed 50 cents at the bar in 1993. And FYI...Alberta is a province NOT a city, tinfoil CAN go in the oven and Good FRIDAY was NOT on a Monday last year. Fucking idiot.

Dear #5: You are the definition of a fair-weather “friend”. And seriously, do something with that fucking hair. It looks like a Brillo pad.

“The friendship that can cease has never been real.”--Saint Jerome (374 AD – 419 AD)

Some people really DO love me,

Stacey xo

6 Things I've learned the first 6 months of 2011

1. Facial piercings are hideous--After watching Judge Judy and 16 & Pregnant faithfully, I now see how ugly facial piercings are.  They are  like a right of passage for the trailer park set. I had a labret and thankfully my body rejected it after a year of almost constant infections. My body was clearly telling me how low-classy it looked. I now have a lovely scar to remind me of my stupidity.
   
   

   

   When did looking like a BULL become desirable?

   
   
2. Be careful who you befriend—I've always considered myself to be a good judge of character. Well, I am clearly delusional because I have chosen some of the shittiest people EVER to be friends with. These people usually ended up stabbing me in the back. There is honestly no more room left on my back to stab so I hope these days are behind me...though I somehow doubt it.
   
   
3. Quinoa rules—This super food is now on my menu daily. I love it with my whole entire heart. If you haven't tried it...get on it!
   
   
4. No-one is more important than family—I've had an extremely rough year and a half. My difficulties have lead to arguments and friendships ending. My family has  stood by me, unconditionally, throughout everything. They are patient with me, understand me better than anyone and have the ability to put my mind at ease when it starts to turn on me. I've learned that personal problems should not be discussed or shared with anyone besides family. I learned this the hard way.
   
   

   

   My amazing family.

   
   
5. It's WHO you know—I had to leave my job due to an extremely negative environment. It took a huge toll on my health and well being. Now that I am well on the road to recovery, I am searching for a new job. I never in my wildest dreams expected it to be this hard to find full-time work. It truly is who you know in this town. And I clearly don't know a fucking soul.
   
   
6. I will not, under any circumstances email or message or text people when I am feeling down or irrational. It almost always leads to a disaster. I wear my heart AND my brain on my sleeve...whatever I am feeling, no matter how outrageous or irrational, will come out of my mouth or fingers without being edited. I've learned, once again the hard way, that I need to somehow restrain myself from rambling incessantly at times. If only there was some kind of “breathalyzer” type of unit that could prevent this. Maybe some kind of electrodes we could wire up to the brain? Hmmm....perhaps I am onto something?
   
   
   I realize I haven't written in a long time. I was thinking about ending my blog. I even posted on Facebook that I was no longer writing. In reaction to that post, a dear friend said that I don't need to put so much pressure on myself. She said I need to "just be". I can't worry about writing the perfect piece or about how many people are reading. I have to write because I enjoy it. I have to just be Stacey writing about Stacey Stuff.
   
   
   Do you still love me?
   
   
   Stacey xo

Hot Flash in the City

I am not one to keep a whole lot to myself. As y'all know, I am somewhat of an open book. When I started writing this blog it was my goal to be honest and truthful. No bull shit. I've been told on countless occasions that I say what other people only think or feel. As you may also know, my blog posts have ranged from sweet to bitchy and back again. No, I don't have dual personalities, trust me. Read on.

It turns out I have a health issue that I'm certain many women out there will be able to relate to. Hormone deficiancy. My hormones have been wreaking havoc on my life for some time now. When tested, both my estrogen and progesterone are very low. As we all know, messed up hormones can cause a whole SCHWACK of other problems. Here are just a few.

First and foremost, mood. I have said before how life is like a roller coaster. If I am to use another amusement park ride analogy, hormones are like the Zipper. We all remember the Zipper. The carnie locks you in a cage that spins wildly around while the apparatus the cage is attached to also spins furiously. A roller coaster is somewhat predictable, up, down, up, down. The Zipper on the other hand, you have no clue which way it is going to spin, how many times or for how long. This, my friends, is what happens when ones hormones are out of whack. I can be busting with joy one day and the next day plotting my revenge against some unsuspecting sucker. I can have boundless energy one minute and hardly be able to get out of bed the next. Because it is so unpredictable, it makes day to day life ridiculously erratic.

The unpredictable Zipper.

Secondly, hot flashes. Yup, I'm having them. My doctors have assured me I am not having menopause...yet. I have never experienced anything so frustrating in my life. Imagine getting ready for a night out and all of a sudden becoming so hot that you'd swear Global Warming has finally turned Canada into the tropics and no-one told you. Your hair is soaked, your make-up ruined and you feel like you are wearing a wetsuit. And for those who have experienced a hot flash, there ain't nothin' you can do to cool down. It stops when it stops. Even blasting the AC at an arctic temperature for quick relief won't work. Why you ask? Because a hot flash burns from the inside out. It makes me want to drink a bottle of automobile coolant. Hey, if it can cool down the engine of your car, why not the body? Besides that pesky little poison part, it sounds like a great idea.

And then we have night sweats. Ever had 'em? Oh, it's lovely. Nothing like waking up in the middle of the night thinking that you peed your pants. Yup, for real. My body is sweating in places I didn't even know had sweat glands. The calves? Really? You would think that with all this sweating I am doing that I would be losing weight but nooooooooo. Of course not. That brings me to...

Weight gain. Because my hormones are so fucked, I have been on a smorgasbord of medications. Of course the number one side effect of ALL of these meds is weight gain. Seriously. Like I'm not going through enough with the moods and sweating, now I have to deal with weight gain? Are we going to find out one day that being a woman was our punishment for bad behaviour in a previous life?

So, there you have it. THIS is what I am currently dealing with. I think we should ALL be grateful that this spinster is not having kids. Can you imagine the hormone fluctuations I would surely have? Yikes. Scary. On that note, because I was up 8 times last night sweating to death, I am going to go crawl into my deep freeze and take a nap.

You know you love me,

Stacey xo

I Be Ranting...

Today, I rant. It is LONG overdue and I am busting. Therefore, this opening paragraph will cease NOW because I gots a lot of bitching to do.

1. Lazy delivery drivers—I had some new patio furniture delivered on Sunday. I got a knock on the door only to see two men standing there...with no furniture. They stated that on their last delivery their shoes got muddy and did I want to come down and get the furniture. Ummm...no? Unless they were going to pay ME to carry MY purchase up 3 flights of stairs to my condo...no. I suggested they take their shoes off and get to it. Seriously? What part of "delivery" do they not understand?
   
   
2. Folded shower curtains—Why...WHY do the fold them into little square packages? By time the fold marks come out it is time for a new curtain. Why don't they ROLL them? It's not rocket science.
   
   
3. Male drivers—Okay, let me start off by saying I am not a feminist by any means. I think jokes about bad female drivers are funny. They do not offend me. BUT...let me tell you something I have noticed. The majority of BAD drivers that I encounter are in fact MALE. Trust me, if it were women I would have no problem saying so in this blog. Guys out there, I gotta tell ya...there is nothing more unattractive than a shitty male driver. Go back to Drivers Ed. Just because you are male doesn't mean you were born with mad driving skills.
   
   
4. There, their, they're. THREE different words with THREE different meanings. To quote Brad from 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High', “Learn it. Know it. Live it”. That's all.
   
   
5. Texting people when out with others—This drives me absolutely nuts. Why do people feel the need to incessantly text other people when out with friends? When I go out, my phone stays in my purse. I choose to focus on those I am with. Why? I don't know because everyone else is busy texting so I just end up sitting there looking like a dork. Unless it is uber important, put your fucking phones away. I do not think this is a sign of the times, I think it is rude and makes the people you are with feel like their company is not enough.
   
   
6. THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
7. Clothing sizes—I am so tired of going shopping, finding something I like only to discover the only size left is extra-small. When are buyers going to get the hint that aside from celebrities, hardly anyone wears extra-small? Is it not obvious when all the mediums, larges and extra-larges are gone and there are 16 extra-smalls left that maybe, just maybe, they need to adjust the shipments?
   
   
8. Lipstick that matches ones skin. How do people think this looks good? Yes, Angelina Jolie wears this look but trust me, she is the only one who can pull it off. Well, her and corpses. Whomever created nude lip colour was clearly colour blind. I have stated before that I believe every woman should wear lip colour at all times but even I would rather see bare lips than lips the colour of foundation.
   
   

   

   Love Jen, HATE the look.

   
   
9. While I am on the topic of beauty, where the HELL did this trend of women shaving off their eyebrows to DRAW new ones on come from? I don't get it. I just don't get it. I had a friend who did this years ago. When she drew her brows on she looked like she was in a constant state of surprise. It. Looked. Ridiculous. If you don't like the look of your natural brows, call me, I have a kick-ass eyebrow girl. She is a miracle worker.
   
   
10. Doctors who make you wait—I am totally fine with waiting for 15-20 minutes. I used to work for doctors. I know all to well how one patient can throw their whole schedule off. What I am talking about is this: I saw a specialist recently. When I got my appointment in the mail I was thrilled to see that I had the first appointment of the day. Awesome...I wouldn't have to wait! Yeah, right. I waited in the 4x4 exam room for an hour and a half. Yup, an hour and a half to see a doctor who spent, literally, 5 minutes with me. There are some doctors out there who need to realize that OUR time is just as valuable as THEIR time.

So, that is it for today. I could keep going but my blood pressure rises with every point I make and I do not feel like spending my day in “the little waiting room” to get it checked out.

You know you love me,

Stacey xo