Valentine Confession

Hi. My name is Stacey. I am a Valentine virgin.

I have never been taken out for a candlelit dinner at an overpriced restaurant where they try usher you out as quickly as possible so another couple can also pay $35 for a $10 bottle of wine.

I’ve never received a bouquet of roses that will inevitably die within 48 hours. Truthfully I prefer dead, dried roses anyway. But that is beside the point.

I don’t have a collection of future garage sale teddy-bears clutching giant hearts with cheesy messages on them (i.e.” I love you beary much”.) 

I’ve never had a bath drawn for me with floating rose petals in it. Not really sure why anyone would want rose petals in the bath unless you enjoy picking them out of your ass when you get out?

See you at Shoppers for cheap Lindt
chocolates on Feb 15!

 I don’t open my mailbox on February 14 to find a $10 Hallmark card. I mean really, you might as well just take that $10 and throw it straight into the garbage can. The only people that save shit like that are future guests on Hoarders.

I guess what I am trying to say is this, I am 40 years old and have never received a Valentine’s Day gift that wasn’t from my parents (bless their hearts). I used to be very bitter about this. I would colour in the February 14^th square on my calendar, black. I would post anti-Valentine’s Day messages on my Facebook. But, my days of being bitter are over. No, not because I have decided to embrace the “holiday” but because the world doesn’t need further proof that I am a jaded Spinster.

You know you love me,

Stacey xo