I’ve
been told I always look very “put together”. Of course, being me, I don’t see
it that way but I do always take it as a compliment. There are definitely times
though when I am very NOT put together. Times when I’ve had (rather hilarious) mishaps.
Here’s a few. Make sure you pee before you read this or you might pee WHILE
reading this!
1. It
was 1993. I had just had my belly button pierced (by an ear piercing gun, no
less). I was pretty into showing it off at the time as not many people had
piercings back then. Yes kids, I was a pioneer. Anyway, when going to the bar, I
would often only do up two buttons on my tops so my belly button (and flat
stomach, sigh) were visible. A friend and I went to a bar called Checkers one
night. I’ll admit, I thought I was pretty hot shit. So, we are dancing away and
I stop to go to the washroom. Low and behold, my shirt is hanging wide open and
I’ve been dancing and walking around basically in my bra. Awesome. Even after
this incident I continued to only button my shirt with 2 buttons….but with a
little safety-pin reinforcement. Loser.
2. We
are in Calgary for my cousin Sheldon’s wedding. Dressed to the nines, partying
at a fancy Cowtown hotel. I excuse myself from the table to, again, go to the
washroom. When finished, I come walking out to head back to the reception room.
People are looking at me like crazy. Like seriously staring. I’m thinking, “Damn
girl, you look gooood”. Feeling stupidly confident my walk turns into more of a
strut. Then I look down. Yup, my “stay-up” hosiery that goes up to the
mid-thigh is now sagging down by my knees. Hmm…perhaps THAT is why everyone was
looking at me? Dork.
 |
| Imagine these...but sagging down by my knees. |
3. I
used to work for a group of obstetricians/gynecologists. I wasn’t required to
wear scrubs but did on occasion because let’s be serious…wearing scrubs is like
wearing PJ’s to work. Anyway, the office of one of the doctors I worked for was
at the end of a fairly long hallway. One morning I had to deliver a stack of
files to him. Well, on the way back to my desk I see a pair of WHITE cotton
underwear laying in the middle of the hallway. To my horror, I realize they are MINE! They had been in the leg of my scrubs…along with a Bounce sheet. Thankfully THIS
mishap was only witnessed by ME....I think?
4. This
one is utterly ridiculous and former co-workers still talk about it to this
day. It happened when I was working at the University. It was a typically long
day and I needed a break. I walked down to a friend’s office to have a visit.
He looked at me strangely and said, “Stacey, why do you only have only one lens in
your glasses?”. I’m like, “What are you talking about?” Yup, I had lost my
right lens and had been walking around the hospital (where our dept was located)
for WHO knows how long. Who the hell doesn't realize they have one lens missing? I must have looked like an IDIOT. Oh and I never did
find said lens. My guess is it will turn up in a file one day.
So,
I hope you have enjoyed reading about a few of my appearance-related mishaps. I
swear this shit could only happen to me. Why? Because I am Stacey.
You
know you love me,
Stacey
xo
