I recently joined the gym after not working out since, uh, for awhile. I had been thinking about exercising for a couple of years but just couldn't seem to actualize my thoughts (code for get my ass off the couch). What finally set the wheels in motion you ask? Well, imagine getting dressed only to realize that your tights are tight. Yup, you read that right. My tights were suddenly tight. I didn't think it was possible either. Upon further inspection I realized that my ass had nearly doubled in size. WTF? I was suddenly the Kim Kardashian of Canada. The horror!
Now, I'm not your typical girl when I go to the gym. You won't find me in overpriced, tight, Lululemon gear. Why people spend a fortune on clothes they are only going to SWEAT in is beyond my comprehension? I don't understand how girls can wear second-skin yoga pants to workout in, either. These pants require one to wear a thong. A THONG? To work out in? I did it...once. The whole time all I could focus on was how soon I would be done so I could sprint to the locker room and pull the damn thing out of my ass. Needless to say that isn't what one should be focusing on while at the gym! I personally need to focus on not flying off the back of the treadmill!
No, I am the girl in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that came free in a case of beer (said beer had previously been my main form of exercise...bicep curls anyone?). I'm the girl with her hair pulled back in a bandana with no make-up on. I don't get up and get “ready-ready” before I go to the gym (I fully understand this revelation may be shocking to some). Perhaps it is because I, unlike a lot of people, am not there to be noticed by the opposite sex. I spent a good solid 20 years (gag) going the bar trying to get noticed (fail) so I ain't putting myself through that again!
I guess the point of this post is to tell y'all that it really doesn't and shouldn't matter what we look like at the gym. The treadmill is not a runway. And Supermodel Heidi Klum is not standing there waiting to say “auf wiedersehen” (German for good-bye) because our outfit isn't up to par. The point is to get healthy, not just physically but mentally too. If I can get off the couch and start working out, trust me...ANYONE CAN! So folks, just go! Fuck what other people think and DO IT! And hey don't worry, I'll always be the sweatiest girl there!
You know you love me,
Stacey AKA the Kim Kardashian of Canada xo
Kim Kardashian AKA my butt twin
