I Remember So I Don't Forget

I remember so I don’t forget.

I remember being surrounded by loved ones and feeling completely alone. I remember convincing myself that I was alone.

I remember feeling like a burden to all who knew me. I remember feeling they would be better off without me.

I remember staying in bed for days on end. I remember the life-draining exhaustion.

I remember having no energy to shower. I remember hiding my greasy hair in a bandana.

I won’t forget sitting at my desk at work randomly bursting into tears. I won’t forget crying in the solitude of a bathroom stall.

I remember feeling like I wasn’t meant to be happy. I remember the look on my doctor’s face when I told him that.

I won’t forget the months when I cried more than laughed.

I remember my demons telling me I was crazy. I remember believing it.

I won’t forget not knowing who I was. I won’t forget that my illness became my identity.

I won’t forget those who abandoned me. I won’t forget those who saved me.

I remember fighting for my life. I won’t forget I WON.

I remember so I don’t forget.

I write so others know they are not alone.


***Our struggles teach us how to fight. Fight, and you will win.***

You know you love me,

Stacey xo